Stupids to Concord: A Bordeaux Tasting

You’ll all forgive me for stepping well outside my area of competence and actually deigning to drink wine from skinny bottles… err, sorry, “diameter-challenged bottles”. Wouldn’t want to piss off the lawyers here. Both Stupids present, double blind, no spitting, “A bucket for monsieur! And per’aps a hose.”

Two whites to get us ready for the sit-down, the ’98 Contour chenin blanc (a sheynig which I’ve well hocked) and a ’93 Cambria Reserve Chardonnay. The Cambria was one of the most foul fluids I’ve experienced, horribly oxidized and laid to rest in a high-toast coffin.

’83 Prieure-Lichine: The first thing that hits me is over-ripe, raisiny fruit. Hmm, there’s a turd or two in there as well, stirred with a plank. Not as bad as I make it sound, but not exactly my fave of the night, either.

’83 Lynch-Bages: I’ve only had this 20 or 25 times before, but this was clearly its best showing in my experience. I needn’t go through the usual descriptors, but I’ll note that it’s one of the brettiest L-Bs, and has years to go before it hits The Big Sleep. It’s the gawky girl from High School who grew into a beauty. And she’s got brains, too.

’83 Leoville-Las-Cases: Is this wine ALWAYS this bad? Oxidized, oaky, decayed, and more than a hint of well-used ashtray.

’83 Gruaud-Larose: I may not be a great blind-tasting guesser, but I am consistent. This is the second Bdx blind tasting in a row where I picked this as my favorite. Amazingly youthful (are the good ’83s EVER going to die? Was the vintage THAT badly under-rated?), amazingly poopy, amazingly redolent of pencil shavings and black-currants, quite sweet, with a tannic bite in the finish. If it had breasts, I’d marry it.

’86 Lynch-Bages: Corked horrendously. Several other tasters thought it MIGHT be a TOUCH musty. Friends, this was an exemplar, a cellar that had been flooded years ago and never cleaned out. Wineries ought to realize that people who get corked bottles think that the wine was meant to taste that way. Sorry, I’ll try to calm down now…

’89 l’Enclos: Pruney, veggie, like the worst Amador zin you’ve ever had. Oxidized, too. Truly wretched.

’89 Pichon-Lalande: Soft and oaky, nuances of hamburgers and a touch of poop. Very nice, but not terribly exciting. Drink soon.

’89 Lynch-Bages: Classic Pauillac pencil shavings, cigar box, very rich and firm. Love it.

’89 Cos d’Estournel: High toned perfume, lots of licorice and Provencal olives. Atypically soft and sweet for a Cos, a wonderfully textured wine. It’s a slutty girl that I’ll bring home to meet my mom.

’89 Meyney: Distinctive, so much so that we thought it might have been a ringer. Lots of cassis, sage, and a dash of soy sauce- hold the MSG, please. Very deft and easy to drink.